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What I learned in 30 years of marriage

Last week, 7.7, we are celebrating 30 years of marriage.

This is some of the things I learned over the years:

1. That HaShem loves me very much – He sent him to me.

2. That being stubborn is an advantage – holding and not letting go, insisting on the togetherness even when is though.

3. That to be lenient is required – it’s just not worth it to spoil the ‘us’ on account the personal.

4. That there is no point in trying to change the other – hardly ourselves is difficult.

5. That children are the bridge to ourselves – together and separately.

6. That it’s not just more important to give then to receive, it’s preferable.

7. That at the end of every giving there’s receiving.

8. That inner bliss does not depend on an outside approval.

9. That happiness is contagions.

10. That the house needs to be taken care of just like we take care of us and the kids.

11. That accepting the other as is – begins with accepting ourselves as is.

12. That there is nothing like waking up the house with the smell of frying egg and fresh salad.

13. That only when it’s good in the company of myself – it’s good in the company of others.

14. That your spouse cannot replace a best friend – but he is the best friend in the whole wide world.

15. That devotion is very moving.

16. That doing something only because the other wants to – is love.

17. That good couplehood is not how he fulfills my needs 0 but how can I fulfill his needs.

18. That loving him is a privilege.

19. That we are not identical – but we are so much alike.

20. That we are not the same – but this is what makes it all so worth it.

21. That I love him more every day.

22. That I still envy him – even though it happened over 31 years ago.

23. That when it’s hard on the outside – getting closer makes it all much more easy.

24. That what we have now – it the best thing to have.

25. That it’s better not to take it personally – even though it’s impossible to tale it publicly.

26. That it’s possible to say whatever you want to – but it’s really the tone that makes the music.

27. That there is no one that knows me so well – truly.

28. That it is a miracle every day.

29. That there is nothing like the moment he enters home at the end of every day.

30. And that being wrapped up in his hug – is the most at home that there is.

Love. Always. Forever.

[© Smadar Prager, CGP]


Smadar Prager, CGP is an Israeli Certified Group Psychotherapist since 1998 with a home based private practice located in South Valley Stream (Five Towns area, Long Island).

She focuses on relationships in the Family, Parenthood, Couplehood, and with self.

To schedule an appointment please contact: or 917-513-1490

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